Good friend 🚫 Girlfriend

Date 27th

Take note!

"Being a good friend 

doesn't make you

a good girlfriend"

And there are those time when..

Me: I'm an observant!

Him: No you're not.

Me: Yes and more than you.

Him: No because..

Hearing those words

and looking at those wet eyes..

I felt shaken inside, like a trumpet playing close to your ear that gives you an instant heart attack and after a momentary deafness..

"You don't know what's happening to me, you can't see what I need, you can't understand why I give you those cuddles..I have my needs too"

I didn't realize that you were broken inside and you needed me..I thought you were fine..I thought you were just bc studying..but I was wrong..I took care of everything..of everyone but not of you..

I just realize how I was concentrated to help everyone but I forgot to love you..You, the most important thing of my daily life..How much pain have you felt..

We are what we are ❤️

People will just judge you anyway

Why bother?

Wherever you go,

stop looking behind

there's a long way

in front of you.

If I was you I would prefer

being judged when I walk

than fall to the ground

or crash into a pole or a person

Stop comparing yourself

with others it does not lead you

somewhere or to something

The important is to be always true

with yourself and with others,

don't fake those smiles

or hide because you think

you're not enough.

Who are you to say that?

Remember we are superficially different 

but same as human being.

I would prefer to listen you

comparing yourself with food or stuff

rather than with other people.

You don't know their story

and neither they know yours.

Live your life with your head

held high and smile always

Don't pay attention to them

and don't waste your time

to talk them back,

it isn't worth it.

Spread love and happiness.

It will hurt them the most.

Be happy with who you are

and remember be always

understandable and down to earth.

It will give you more happiness

and most of all a light heart to carry on. 

Those words

Just wanna throw away

and let it all go,

but deep inside I know

that is not me.

It's hard to find

someone to lean on,

someone to talk

without hiding particulars

feeling prisoner

of your own feelings.

Want to be hold all the time

and don't be afraid of after.

There will be always

an other day to try but

where can I find the strength

to use everytime I need?

I wanna hear those words:

"I'm proud of you"

Emptiness

I wanna understand
this emptiness I'm feeling.
The world is too loud
I wanna be alone
just me and my instinct
maybe somehow
I will see through
this unconscious feeling.
No more words
I wanna hear
just the gentle silence
like the fresh wind of spring

that sensation of freedom
that I'll never be able to reach,
it's unconditionally comfortable
but once it stops

it seems to fall in an infinite hole
and I start to dream again and again.
But this emptiness won't disappear
and answers there's no one..

Unreal

I can't understand this feeling..

I'm not confused but it seems

that someone (in another world),

wants to challenge me.

It's not the first time,

actually it's the third or fourth time

I think..

It's strange how this

kind of feeling can make

you paralyze and shocked..

I don't know if you already

felt this way, because if you did

then please let me know..

Too perfect

Tell me why I'm so confused

You are everything for me

But sometimes I want to escape

It seems too perfect

or too unreal

What we built together

I keep asking myself

if there's something wrong

but it's so clear

Our relationship has no hole

It's full of colors and

we've been together for long..

Tell me why I'm so confused

It seems too perfect

and too unreal

But I like it.

Fulfill you beh

Day by day I love you more

No one can stop this feeling

I hurt you before but now

I'm keeping you tightly

by my side

I'm not what you really

wished to have

but I'm trying to fulfill

the emptiness

I'm not sweet

I'm a cold person

but it doesn't mean

that i don't have

feelings for you

Resist you

How could i resist you

Whatever you do it's awesome

In my eyes you're everything

I may sound pathetic

but just holding your hand

I feel much better

I want to be understood

Since I was in high school I was called "the mature one", it was a pleasure and sometimes it was something to be proud.

When I grew up I tried to find someone like me or someone to share with this maturity. Maybe I found it but unreasonably I couldn't chat with that person so I tried to find someone else.

I'm still searching..

I want to find him/her as soon as possible because I'm tired of being always understanding. I want to be understood too!

Habit

When time passes unconsciously is obvious that people change. Personally you do not notice it so you blame others.

It hurts when you realize that what you were used to do before now it hasn't the same reaction or participation of before.

I'm upset not with others but with myself. Even if I know that it's not like before I'm still doing the same thing, as the cicada which continues to play despite the change of season, and then I end in tears in the middle of the night.

This is it?

I have a Dream but I'm not sure

if I will be able to make it..

I know each of us have to

work hard for what we want to become,

and never think to reach it

easily.

We are always in front of challenges,

long the way and in our mind.

We have to distinguish what it's

the best for us and for our future,

and never look back even if

we are losing someone

very special.

Things happen for a reason why.

We will definitely make it.

Remember to choose the right friends

to have on your travel. 

You can make it:) 

Too explicit

There are times when you start to think

that maybe you did all wrong..

I know that I had a lot of choices before

to be what I am now

but as me and as everyone,

we use to say that we hadn't

a lot of choices before.

Everyone has a diary or a note on the cellphone or a blog,

where we write our feelings and thoughts.

Sometimes we are OA or too open to say

everything and every person that hurt us,

without thinking that we are making

our private business as a public issues.

Feelings are too strong to bear

inside, and some how we try

to hide them but sometimes

they are so painful that we have

to express them explicitly..

My past everyday

Slowly I was losing hope

but you tend a hand to me.

My heart felt much better

and gently I started to smile..

..again..

What a nice tall boy!

They said but for me

you weren't that boy

that they described

You were more than that!

I didn't ever expect

to have really care for you.

For you I started to smile

and I wont ever forget

That day..

Almost a year

It's a half to midnight.

There is a gentle breeze outside

and I'm watching the moon.

It's so magical and faraway

as your presence.

The clouds surround the moon

and create a nice painting

as my memories of you.

The white circle moon has

a lot of holes and hills

as the moments

we spent together.

Suddenly the clouds

cover the moon

as your last smile

that i've seen from you.

My eyes..

how could you love me

if you never loved me?

I had to know it before but my eyes didn't want to see the truth..

I waited..but you walked away..

If I had opened my eyes

this would have not happened..

Hi

"Hi"

That's the awkward txt
I ever received from you.
How could you expect
that I would have been the same
After what you did?
Don't ask
You know already the answer

[no respond]

Without

Don't expect that there will be
always someone next to you
Try to be independent
'cos there will be a day
that all of your friends
will be busy
Try to be strong enough
to do the possible you can
Nothing is impossible
if you try.

She says..

You never told me
that you were still crying for her
I knew that you were sad
but you never told me that was for her
If I have known that before I would have helped you..
You know that I love you even if I never say it..

My heart beat as well

We caught our eyes suddenly
But nothing happened
Your friend thought that we were flirting
That was weird thought
We hadn't even known each other..
I was so nervous 'cos I was alone
In that place but you had sat next to me
And you were wet again
and I had given you my tissue..
And that was the start of everything..

Breath away

I had told you that I loved you
It was true but I had denied you everything
We saw each other after that confession
I couldn't believe that for 5 seconds
You took my breath away..
You hadn't notice it but I was literally with no air..